Today has been a day which I’m sure all of us parents have experienced at some point. The kind of day where you collapse into bed at the end of a it and think ‘how the hell did I get this parenting thing so wrong?!’
I would have thought that 11 years down the good old parenting line I would have been an expert on this, able to offer my wonderful advice to my friends who were having children, but my God was I wrong…
Between spending my days as a referee between my boys dealing with a ‘pre teen’ (who may I add on most days is an absolute angel,today was not one of those days..) I like to think I can keep my cool. Today was also not one of those days.
I found myself shouting ‘will you all just shut up! ‘ far more than I should have , which as a teaching assistant I honestly don’t condone as the right way to get through to my children, but I struggled to keep my level head today.(my hubby would argue it’s never level, but he’s clearly wrong here..)
But by far the worst part of the day was the part where my own thought process though. The thoughts that started to creep into my head as soon as my shrieking mum voice appeared..
I’m not good enough for them
They deserve better
I bet they hate me now..
Now I know people might read this and think ‘somebody is a little dramatic!‘ but these thoughts pop into my head on a regular basis, as I’m sure they do many other parents too. And I do thing the root of all these problems is comparing myself to the perfect families you see all over social media.
Lovely long family walk, Alfie is an absolute angel!’
What this said parent is more than likely forgetting to update us Facebook followers on is the tantrum that Alfie had when he couldn’t bring the massive stick home with him, when you wouldn’t let him jump into the pond, the list could go on. We always fail to realise that social media is a little snippet of our lives that we feel is worthy to be shared, we seem to brush over the harder points of our days.
But even after this long post, one thing I have learnt over the past 11 years is that, as a matter of fact, I am good enough! My children are happy (most days), loving little souls. They are safe, and so loved, that surely despite my self doubts, does make me a good parent.