Back to it.. (just a little update on moi!) 

This week has been written off in our household…..between sick children, a broken toilet and the WiFi breaking down (seriously I didn’t realise how dependant I had become on the trusty little WiFi box) it’s safe to say my stress levels were through the roof!. 

I’ve finally been signed off by the doctors this week following my surgery, which means I will be able to go back to my beloved job as a teaching assistant! I honestly can’t wait to throw myself back into it. But at the same time I have this overwhelming sadness about not being able to pick my 4yo up from pre-school 3 days a week anymore 😞. 

I think a little part of me has become quite accustomed to the stay at home mum lifestyle…. Which is obviously not an easy alternative, it’s really bloody hard having your name repeated one million times per minute and remaining calm, but none the less I have enjoyed my extra time pottering around the house with my youngest. It’s funny how quickly your routine can change, if I take myself back 8 weeks I could think of nothing worse than being stuck in my house, unable to drive week after week, but now the thought of leaving that all behind is genuinely causing me to feel like I’m letting my little boy down. (which is silly I know as I already had this job befote surgery!).

It’s obviously not just me that has experienced this, other mums (and dads of course) will have been through the same scenario, but my God I feel like my heart it breaking already. I have to keep reminding myself just how passionate I was about my role in the school before this happened, and how much I will appreciate spending time with my little loves when I get home each day 💜 

Expanding the brood 😱

Throughout the past 4 years I have been asked the dreaded question more times than I could possibly remember, we all know the one, the…. ‘when are you having another one?’ 

As a busy mum of 3 (who feels like getting 2 minutes to go to the bathroom is peace is a major win in life) this question always seems to catch me off guard! I’ve even had people go as far as telling me ‘you have an uneven amount, your son will get middle child syndrome!’ (wtf?!?). I am pleased to say he most definitely does not have any  syndrome and certainly has no issues having only 2 siblings so why through that statement out there?. 

I feel as though my days could not possibly get any more chaotic. Between being a parent/chef/taxi driver/referree/human chair, and of course working in the school with an extra 60+ hyper children on a daily basis, I fail to see how I could possibly fit anymore in!.

And the decision to stop at 3 was not exactly our choice initially, but one we have come to accept. Both myself any my hubby always wanted a full and fun family home, and always said we would have 4 children, but that decision was taken out of our hands last year after losing our baby through miscarriage. I ended up being extremely unwell and ended up with irreparable damage which has ended our baby journey. 

So I find the question of expanding our brood frustrating, and also at times quite upsetting. I am forever grateful for the little loves I have in my life already….I do realise how lucky I am to be a mummy!. 

This post became very deep and serious by the end….it wasn’t my intention, but felt as though I needed to put it out there, as I’m sure others must feel the same!.

Xx 

The parenting blues..

Today has been a day which I’m sure all of us parents have experienced at some point. The kind of day where you collapse into bed at the end of a it and think ‘how the hell did I get this parenting thing so wrong?!’

I would have thought that 11 years down the good old parenting line I would have been an expert on this, able to offer my wonderful advice to my friends who were having children, but my God was I wrong…

Between spending my days as a referee between my boys dealing with a ‘pre teen’ (who may I add on most days is an absolute angel,today was not one of those days..) I like to think I can keep my cool. Today was also not one of those days.

I found myself shouting ‘will you all just shut up! ‘ far more than I should have , which as a teaching assistant I honestly don’t condone as the right way to get through to my children, but I struggled to keep my level head today.(my hubby would argue it’s never level, but he’s clearly wrong here..)

But by far the worst part of the day was the part where my own thought process though. The thoughts that started to creep into my head as soon as my shrieking mum voice appeared..

I’m not good enough for them

They deserve better 

I bet they hate me now..

Now I know people might read this and think ‘somebody is a little dramatic!‘ but these thoughts pop into my head on a regular basis, as I’m sure they do many other parents too. And I do thing the root of all these problems is comparing myself to the perfect families you see all over social media.

Lovely long family walk, Alfie is an absolute angel!’ 

What this said parent is more than likely forgetting to update us Facebook followers on is the tantrum that Alfie had when he couldn’t bring the massive stick home with him, when you wouldn’t let him jump into the pond, the list could go on. We always fail to realise that social media is a little snippet of our lives that we feel is worthy to be shared, we seem to brush over the harder points of our days. 

But even after this long post, one thing I have learnt over the past 11 years is that, as a matter of fact, I am good enough! My children are happy (most days), loving little souls. They are safe, and so loved, that surely despite my self doubts, does make me a good parent.

Xx 

First time blogger here! 

I’ve heard many things about blogging….how it’s a good way to get your inner most thoughts out, somewhere to find like-minded people, but in all honesty….I have set this blog up for nobody other than myself!. 

Not only am I a happily married, busy mum of 3, I am also a teaching assistant. So I spend my days surrounded by lovely, excitable children….then return home to the same scenario (granted, with not as many as 30 children…phew!) 😕. 

As I mentioned above, I am lucky enough to have 3 little loves of my own, a daughter (11!) and 2 sons (8 & 4), so as you can imagine, we have some pretty chaotic days in our house! This blog is to let me write down some of those thoughts! 🙂